So Much

I have had almost no desire to blog since my last update. Nor have a really kept up on anyone else blogs.  I suppose I've been too busy with life to even worry about it.  I'm not sure I could even come close to all the things we've done since September, but I suppose I will try with a picture over load.

we blessed this sweet girl

Family pictures early Sept.

Collin with Uncle Travis, now on his mission in Washington

a lot of her hair has fallen out since this picture, and it has lost all its curl :(

football game, it was COLD, can you see Anistan?

Lagoon, I opted out of the wet rides, it wasn't THAT warm

I picked up a new hobby, tatting.  This is my first project, a snowflake, now decorating my parents apartment in Puerto Rico

I should explain here about my parents mission. My parents have been planning to serve a mission for some time but decided to wait until the birth of their two granddaughters in the late summer, Anistan and Alyssa.  They submitted their papers, waited a very long time for their call, received a call to the San Juan Puerto Rico mission.  They had only 3 weeks to get everything together and report to the MTC.  We miss them like crazy, but we're so happy they get to be missionaries.

starting to smile

sibling love 

Halloween, a soldier (see my awesome new piano in the background,  electric, but O so cool. PS that wall is no longer orange, but green I'll try to post about that later)

a grumpy skeleton

shooting and playing in the rocks

still shooting, it was a great sunset

I have really enjoyed being the mom of these two sweet kids.  Its actually been easier than I expected.  We are busy making Christmas preparations and are planning on spending our first Christmas with just our little family and I am SO excited to start our own traditions.  I've finally started decorating our house (I know its about time) and I'm having a fun time picking out colors and finding pictures and decorations.  I bet someday I'll get it posted...

My Natural Journey

After Anistan was born, I was sitting in the kitchen talking with my mom about my experience with her labor and delivery.  We decided that its therapeutic for women to swap "war stories" Or at least to share them, so here's my therapy session. Feel free to skip this post, after all, its mostly for me.

I think it would be difficult to share Anistan's birth without remembering back to Collin's. Collin was born at 9lbs 6oz by c-section after 19 hours of labor, which included nearly 3 hours of pushing.  The stars just were not aligned for him, and without modern medicine and the capabilities to do a c-section, things could have been very ugly.

My doctor was cool with trying VBAC with this pregnancy.  We planned to try with the understanding that at any sign of trouble we would do a c-section.  We would just have to play it a little by ear.  It was apparent, at least to me, we were dealing with another big baby as we neared my due date. But this time, the baby was more cooperative than Collin had been and was getting into the right position early on.  At my 36 week check I was already at 3, and at 4 at my 37 and 38. Where with Collin I made almost no progress before he was born.  The doctor joked with me that I wasn't going to make it to our induction date on the 17th.  On the 16th I was cursing him for telling me that!

My mom came over Thursday night.  She made the comment that she felt I would go very quickly once they induced me since I had progressed so far on my own.  I honestly had it in my mind, that this labor would be LONG and SLOW, just like Collin's was, and I was even expecting to have anther c-section in the end.  I didn't have a lot of faith in myself. After Collin's c-section I felt a little cheated that I really had no idea what it felt like to give birth, and even felt that I had failed as a woman because I wasn't able to get him out on my own.  I suppose that is another discussion for another day, but I have since dealt with those feelings and they aren't an issue anymore, but the memory of the struggle was fresh in my mind as the induction approached. I was really nervous. I really had no idea what to expect and was feeling quite a bit of anxiety. I asked Trevor to give me a blessing and was very comforted by his love and faith in me and my strength.  I actually slept really well that night.

 Friday morning Trevor and I headed off bright and early.  We got to the hospital and I got changed and set up with the IV.  The Dr. came in and checked me, I was at a 5 and about 50%, he went ahead and broke my water, that was around 7:45 am, then headed off to surgery.  I started having contractions right away, well, I had been having contractions I just started feeling them more.  They weren't bad at first, but steadily got worse and much more intense.  I was planning on getting an epidural, but I didn't want to get it to soon because that can slow things down, and last thing I wanted was a drawn out labor. After about an hour, I called the nurse in and she gave me some IV drugs, which made me really not care about the painful contractions. It was kind of a cool feeling, and it totally made me relax, I almost fell asleep.  In about 45 minutes, I was dying again, the nurse checked me and I was a 6, but 80%.  I told her I didn't want to wait any more for the epidural and she went for the anesthesiologist. Unfortunately, by that time both of the Dr.'s on that day were already tied up and in surgery.  I was assured they would come as soon as they could.

I'm not sure how much time passed, but I started feeling all kinds of pressure and even a need to push.  The contractions we intense and close together, so the nurse checked again, I was at a 9, and had just a lip of cervix left.  The nurse ran to fetch the Dr. from surgery.  As the contractions got worse, in fact they almost didn't stop, I just kept looking at Trevor and complaining about how badly it hurt and how badly I wanted the epidural.  I never planned on the pain of labor once things got this far. I hadn't taken any classes or even brushed up on the literature.  I very distinctly remember looking Trevor in the eyes when I realized the epidural wasn't coming and I was going to have to do this without any help with the pain.  A very disheartening moment, but Trevor assured me that I could do it, so i tried to buckle down and be tough.  I say that laughing because when I was laboring with Collin I was determined to be strong and push hard, and not scream.  All of those resolutions flew out the window with the unexpected pain.  I tried to be positive and strong and to believe in myself, which helped but there is no way for me to explain how I was feeling.  I don't know how much is mental, or emotional or actually physical, but there just are no words that I can find to explain that kind of pain.  I tried my best to keep myself focused, but my lack of preparation made that difficult.

My doctor came and we started to push.  I found it really difficult to focus on pushing, again because of the unexpected pain I was experiencing. I cried and yelled and probably did a lousy job. I remember now, reading on a friends blog about how her midwife said she knows the baby is about to come when the women cries out "I can't do this!"  I said that. I wanted so badly for it to be over and I just wanted to give up and have it all go away.  I heard the Dr say to my nurse, "I think we'll have it on this next one"  and the nurse agreed.  That gave me a burst of strength and on the next push, there she was. The very second she was out, the pain was gone, I mean gone.  Not a trace remained, it was completely and wholly gone. That was the most amazing feeling in the world!  My brand new sweet baby girl in my arms and no pain. In the end pushed for 11 minutes total.  It felt like 1,000.  Total labor time 2 hours and 32 minutes.

Within a few minutes I was up walking around the room, getting changed and cleaned up, and very soon afterward had a nice hearty lunch.  I don't have anything to compare recovery to but Collin's c-section which was kind of awful.  And while I still hate that I had to go through that without any medication, I can see what a nice recovery it was without it. I've had almost no pain since then and needed very little medication for pain.

I was traumatized for a few days but I found myself quickly forgetting.  Our bodies really are miraculous and perfectly designed. Perhaps the joy of a new life, the excitement of not being pregnant any more, or the comfort of home makes it easier to deal with the traumatic experience, but simply put a women's body is made for giving birth.  It was an interesting experience going with the drug free way of child birth and I'm kind of glad I've had the opportunity to experience it.  I don't know if I'll chose to do it this way again and I'm grateful I don't have to decide right now.  All I know is, I am so blessed to have this sweet little girl and the wonderful son and husband I do have.

Anistan Gayle Thomas

Anistan got here Friday, August 17th around 10:15 in the morning.  She weighed in at 9lbs 3oz, and measured at 19 3/4 inches.  Mother, baby, brother and Dad are all doing really well.  We're relieved to have it over and have her home, and just trying to adjust to our new wonderful life with Anistan in it.  I'll post again soon sharing more of my experience and the details of how things went.  For now we'll just over load with pictures.

at home resting in Grandma's arms

 meeting for the first time, Collin was immediately in love with his baby sister

Collin is constantly asking to hold her and loves to point to her nose, mouth etc...

He is already an awesome brother

again, holding "da baby"

first hairdo

Waiting for the Dr. to release us to go home.  She has a good amount of brown hair that seems to be curly.

Just a funny face I caught on camera

Trying to show off the curls, we'll see if they stick around

We would be in a world of hurt without Grandma's help.  She took Collin for 2 whole days, not easy, and had the house spotless and the fridge full when we got home.  I'm not looking forward to her leaving, but I suppose we have to do it on out own eventually.

Ready to go!! Trevor picked out her hair bow, so stinkin cute

Taking a nap with Dad, I have a feeling these two are going to be inseparable!

Just waiting

My due date is still 12 days away, but the Dr. has agreed to an induction before that date.  He has also declared that I'm far enough progressed that I could go into labor at any moment!  Kind of exciting, but I kind of don't like the waiting.  I'm sure its particularly stressful for my mother who is trying to juggle 2 very pregnant daughters with the same due date and inductions scheduled just one day apart.  Sorry about that Mom!! I'm trying to be patient and let me body decide when to get this show on the road in hopes that another c-section won't be necessary.  Only time will tell.

In the mean time we are just cooling our heels while we wait but I find myself hoping more every day that she'll choose today to come.  Since my belly is particularly large, my pelvis particularly sore, and sleep tends to evade me, Collin and I tend to spend most of our time indoors watching more TV than we should.  Trevor lets us come with him when ever its possible to ride in a tractor or drive out to one of the local farms, which is always a nice break.  We've also made it to a Demolition Derby, and spent plenty of time cheering on the US in the Olympics.  Here's a few picture of the things we've been up to.

At the derby, it sprinkled a little bit at made an awesome rainbow,  this is also my first attempt at using Instagram, still trying to figure it out, but I think it turned out pretty cool!

Because Agri-Service was sponsoring the derby we got to behind the scenes and help by riding in the tractors to get the demolished cars out of the arena.  Collin particularly enjoyed throwing rocks....everywhere. 

Collin is getting very creative in the placement of his toy cars, this is the handle to his booster seat, I'm not sure how many he had in there, but I was impressed.

Probably one of my favorite pictures, we got to ride with Trevor as he raked a field to demo some equipment.  It was a bit bumpy for me, but Collin sure enjoyed it.

We've been getting baby's room together, I just finished the bumper pads and snapped a quick shot to send to my sister, we'll have to take some more when we get everything all tied and finished, I've sure had fun making things for the nursery.

This is the crib where she will sleep for the first few months in our room, also made by me.

In other news Trevor's brother Travis got his mission call to Seattle Washington!  We are so excited for him to get to experience a mission.  He'll be leaving in just 6 short weeks.  Both my brothers have decided to give up the east coast and relocate to Utah, that will make 5 of 7 kids in my family living in Utah.  We're excited to have everyone closer.  Becki, Kendra, Spencer and Tom will be pretty close together, Trevor and I just a few hours away, Kim is still in Twin and the adventurous Robinsons have set up camp in Alaska.  Trevor is really excited to make a trip up north some time for a fun filled visit. My parents are just waiting to hear where they will be serving their mission and I'm sure as soon as we get these babies here and blessed they'll be off to whatever part of the world the Lord sends them!

too cute

Collin has been really into Thomas the Train (namas tain) as of late, well really any train in general.  Thanks to the magic of netflix we have a whole bunch of shows at our finger tips.  This morning he was watching a show on the big bed I found him practicing the facial expressions he saw the characters making on the show.  It was adorable.

frustrated

Happy

Angry

Surprised

Lately Collin loves helping Trevor take off his shoes and socks when he gets home.  This little boy is growing up fast and picks up on so much!!

Trying to fill Daddy's shoes

A trip to Twin Falls

The 4th of July was a packed week.  My sister Juli and her family came down from their new home in Alaska to spend some time with the family. Kendra and her husband were sealed, which was the main event. Kendra is just as pregnant as I am, so it was kind of fun having someone around to sympathize with.

Trevor wasn't able to make it, and neither were Spencer and Tom and their families, we missed them a lot but still managed to have some fun. Of course I didn't have a camera most of the time, but I did get a few shots in here and there.

We spent an afternoon at the drops.  This is just a canal outside of Shoshone Idaho.  The cement ends and just feeds into a small river I guess you could call it, and it creates a little rapid that's fun to jump in and ride.  I didn't think I could hang onto Collin well enough so we didn't go, but we did jump in at the end of the rapids and splash around where the current wasn't so strong.

We also had a short camp out at a place near Wendell, called Niagara Springs.  This is a place on the Snake River that has a bunch of boulders.  They are close enough to go "rock hopping" jumping from one to the other trying not to get wet because the water was FREEZING!  We used to go there often when I was a kid, but I haven't been there in years.  We weren't as organized as we normally are when we're camping, but we still had a good time. We just about wore everyone out.

Collin fell fast asleep and took probably the best nap of his life.

Josh and Caleb are best buds when we get together, they were totally exhausted and fell asleep on the drive back to grandma's house, it was just too cute not to take a picture of.  I'm sure they'll thank me some day.

We were also able to celebrate Uncle Jeremy a little too.  He finally finished all his medical stuff and is a full fledged Pediatric Psychiatrist.  Its been a long road, well travelled.  We're proud of how hard he worked, and Becki, Ethan and Mia for sticking by him.  Jeremy's mom rented a bounce house for the kids to play in while the adults got to sit around a visit while eating a whole bunch of really unhealthy food.  It was the best.

Collin inside the Jump Jump!

When the big kids came in Collin came out, but he enjoyed it all the same.

I was sad to have to leave, but Collin and I were anxious to get back to Trevor.  We're probably still recovering a little, but glad we went and glad to be home.

catch up

There is so much to catch up on.  I've been a bad blogger as of late.  I'm going to blame it on being really pregnant!!  So here we go...

Collin is getting to be such a big kid.  He speaks more clearly every day.  Some of my favorite words and phrases are "Hey Mommy, what's up?" and "That's awesome"  He can list a lot of our relatives and is constantly asking for Paisyn (aka Paislyn) Tavis (Travis) Mia, Dosh (Josh) and Emmett.  Honey and Babo and Mama (grandma) are also often requested.  Of course there are trying moments with a 2 year old, but the cute moments out weigh those.

Collin trying on one of Daddy's ties, a favorite pass time as of late.

We moved into our own house.  We were staying on some property that Agri-Service owns.  But as the construction got underway for their new shop we were anxious to get a place of our own. It took forever to find the right house, and even longer to get all the financing together but we finally got the all clear and moved out the same time the company was moving in.  It wasn't easy moving 6.5 months pregnant, and Trevor was busy getting everything in the office up and running.  Thank heavens my mom came and helped, and my sister Becki a few weeks later.  I still have some unpacking and organizing to do, which I get done slowly and everything needs to be painted. I'll get to it eventually, and then I'll post pictures.

As well as a new house Trevor and I decided a little more space would be a wonderful thing and splurged on a King sized bed.  Please excuse the lack of decorating.  I haven't gotten there yet.

The little lady is doing well.  Its funny how different being pregnant is this time vs when I was pregnant with Collin.  She moves differently, and I feel like she is smaller (this might just be wishful thinking, I'm hoping for a smaller baby and a normal delivery vs another c-section.) I feel like my body has a better idea of what's going on this time around.  We're keeping our fingers crossed.

This is a cute picture I just decided to throw in.  Collin and Paislyn are best friends, when we're together they do everything together, include sleep in the car!!

Trevor works hard everyday and is really enjoying his job.  Some days we don't get to see him much, but we're looking forward to when things slow down a little bit.  We're already planning some fun trips when things settle down.

Trampoline and Carnival

We finally closed on our house and got to move in about a month ago!  Sorry no pictures, the yard is a mess, since yard work posses a bit of a challenge to my 7 months prego belly.  I try to do a little each day, but I'm not good for much and it gets away from me quickly.  And the inside isn't completely unpacked for much of the same reasons, and due to Trevor working ALL the time.  We'll get there, surely but slowly.

My sister Becki brought her 2 kids over for a visit last week.  It was so much fun to have someone else around.  She helped a ton, just by being there and helped me get some of the yard under control, which I am so grateful for.  She is a better picture taker than I am and here are some of the snapshots she got off with her phone.

the yard has a trampoline sunk down in the ground, its the best because the kids can just run on and off as they please while we watch from the patio.  This day was hot, and the sprinklers had just been on, hence the nakedness.

I'm still not sure why, but there was a small carnival set up in the neighboring town of Ballard, since Trevor wasn't home yet he didn't get to come :( We missed him, but had fun eating unhealthy food and riding a few rides.

Ever since our last trip to Honey and Babo's house, whenever Collin sees a horse he calls out Reba! and begs to ride.  He kicked and screamed when we had to get off, but we soon got him distracted enough to ride some of the other rides there.

Except that summer is the biggest working time for farmers which is going to keep Trevor busy, everything is shaping up to a great summer and we are excited for many more warm days and activities to come!  Anyone is welcome anytime, we love to have visitors!!

About a Girl...

Before Collin was born, I didn't care what the gender of our child was.  I thought having a boy first would be great because everyone should have a big brother.  I love mine, he's always done a good job taking care of me and helping me when I needed him.  Trevor is a great big brother, I'm sure his younger siblings will testify to his enthusiastic involvement. :) Every girl needs a big brother.

I really enjoy Collin.  I love his snuggles and slobbery kisses and his little arms that give big hugs.  I love that he is mine, and I'm his mom.  I love that every inch of him is boy and I just want a million more.  I also love the relationship Collin and Trevor have developed. Trevor tosses him around and wrestles with him and Collin loves it.  Trevor teaches him to be strong and kind and respectful in a way I'm sure only a dad can. While I'm sad everyday about how quickly he's growing, and that these moments are soon to be gone forever, I'm so excited to see him grow up.  I know he's going to be a great man and I'm excited to help him get there. As we've started to think of adding to our family I found myself terrified of having a girl.  I know boys, I love boys and I want more! (I'm laughing at myself writing this because my friend expressed similar feelings before the birth of her daughter and I remember thinking that was a silly thing to think.  Anna, I totally get it now.)

Baby #2 is on the way.  She'll be here in August.  I say she with 95% certainty.  We've done 3 ultra sounds and each time the answer is the same "I think its a girl, but I can't get a very good look" When we first started talking with Collin about a baby we asked Collin if he wants a baby boy or baby girl he said baby girl.  When I asked him, don't you want a baby boy, he adamantly refused.  No matter how we ask, he says girl every time. So we're assuming its a girl and we're proud that she is fighting to keep her mystery at such a young age.  Hopefully its a sign of her future lady-like behavior.  Trevor is already telling Collin how he's going to have to look out for his sister and make sure ALL the guys know to stay away.  Collin listens intently and I'm sure he'll be ready to spring into action as soon as needed.

Despite my hesitations of having a girl, I find myself excited and really anxious for her to get here.  I can feel her sweet spirit even now and can't wait for her to join our family and make it that much more complete.

FYI My sister and her husband are expecting their first daughter the same day we are, and Trevor's sister and her husband are expecting their second daughter just two months prior to us.  We are so excited for them as well.

A trip to the valley

We figured since Trevor's work is getting really busy, we had better make a trip to visit family now.  We left on Wednesday and didn't come back until last night. We had such a good time, and didn't want to leave, but the real world was calling so we had to go...

While we were there we spent lots of time outside playing in the sun, watching Travis baseball games, and looking after the animals.  Collin especially loved riding the horses.  He was not the least bit afraid it is a natural horseman like his dad.  But the end of his ride, he was not only sitting alone in the saddle, (in fact when I got on with him he started to cry and said "MOVE!") but he was so comfortable he was holding on with just one hand!  It was so cute and fun to watch.

Those are about the only pictures we got, since we didn't bring out camera.  Thanks to Grandpa Holden for always being prepared!