The Drama that caused the Trama

Trevor has slept peacefully for the past several months. Which means I've slept peacefully for the last several months.

Two nights ago, the peace was broken. I have no idea what time it was, but all of a sudden Trevor started shouting, being abruptly woken by the shouting, I wasn't completely coherent myself. I do remember "ITS FALLING, YOU HAVE TO MOVE!" as he braced the "shaking" head board with one hand while attempting to push me out of the way with the other. I tried all my tricks to get him to wake up or realize nothing was falling. But he was insistent and in a very panicked state kept yelling at me to move. Nothing worked. I was seriously scared. I found myself screaming, "Trevor, Trevor!" (I'm sure my panicked scrams really helped the idea of me being in danger in Trevor's mind, if some one was outside they would have thought I was being murdered) I remember holding his face in my hand pleading "Please wake up, please wake up!" on the verge of tears, literally. Which led to discussions like "but this is falling, I'm holding it here with my hand" Eventually Trevor woke enough, and dazed and confused lay on his back, sweating like crazy, panting, with a racing heart. I tried to sooth him, but was so shaken up myself I'm sure I did a bad job. Two other times that night Trevor tried to save me from some mysterious objects, but none quite as dramatic as that first time. The shock of it has barely worn off today, I still feel a little shaken. He remembers laying there sweating, but that's it. He apologized for scaring me in the morning but observed "at least I'm trying to protect you" there's one thing to be grateful for.

Last night, we had to catch the cookies before they fell. I must have failed, because Trevor kept asking me "did you get them? they are right there. Are you going to reach your hand in here and get them...well?" In all fairness, Trevor sensing how traumatized I felt from the night before had offered to sleep on the couch. Maybe I should have taken him up on that.

A little up date

Sorry for the non-commitment to the blog lately. I always think..."oh, I'll do it later" Later is finally here. Since the last time you read....

My cousin Natalie and her husband came for a visit, and we floated the beautiful Bear River, it was a blast! (anyone is welcome to come try it, of course in the winter, might not be as fun, but I'll promise you some awesome tubing over the frozen river/swamp by our house)

Trevor's sister Randi got married! Yey! we love Devin, he fits in just perfectly.

My friend Melissa got married! Jake is a great guy, and I'm thrilled to see my friend so happy!

Trevor and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary at a fabulous hotel in the SLC area, it was so much fun, I think we'll do it every year!

Trevor's sister Deslie got engaged to Milo, we are so excited for them and can't wait to hit Vegas for their wedding in the Las Vegas temple.

My sister Juli Robinson ran her second marathon and set a new personal best by 15 minutes!

I'm so proud of her, it was very inspiring. I thought, maybe I'll try it too (not the whole 26.2 miles of course, but part of it. After my first day of "training" I changed my mind! Now Juli and her cute fame are off to Aussie land, yup they have moved to Brisbane, not so far from the zoo that was run by Steve Irwin, still sad he died, by the way.

Cameras still no cooperating, sorry no pics.

I found a new friend

Currently taking residence in my garage

More Sleepytime mumblings

I must be getting used to Trevor's mid-night ramblings because I don't hear them much anymore. I've had a few lectures here and there such as "I told you, do what you want!" Or the time it was so important that everything had to be said twice, twice. But things have been pretty quiet for the most part. Last night however was a different.

Trevor shot up in bed mumbling something...I talked to him for a minute, but eventually just said, "you can lay down now" to which he replied, "but I have to find the brush!" It seemed very urgent so I let it be. He reached down to the foot of the bed and started feeling around, over, under the comforter between my feet, after a few minutes he said "huh, I can't find it" and returned to bed. At some point he sat up shouting about buns. Trevor often starts shouting in his sleep to which I usually rub his back and say sh sh sh, just like he were going to wake up the non-existent child we have, but last night I think I feel back asleep mid sh.

At my family reunion a few weeks ago, my family slept together in a cabin and my sister asked Trevor to please talk in his sleep. Since she asked so nicely, Trevor just had to start yelling "Yes, NO." I got to him pretty quick and quieted him up, but I still think he woke the whole cabin.

Just on a side note, I need to dish out some congrats to the scores of friends who have birthed or will be birthing the the months to come, Anna S., Jill, Ashley, Fallon, Lisa, Dixie, Anna P., Amy, Ginger, Emily, April, Jamie, Ashlee, Shauna, Jen, Aria, Bethany, Jenete and Amanda, if anyone else wants to be added onto the list, let me know... I wish you all the best with your new bundles of joy.

Rain Rain go away

" I thought we lived in Logan, UT, not Seattle WA" a common phrase around here these days!

Its rained nearly everyday for about 2.5 weeks. Everything is drowning, my garden, the farmers hay, and some of the corn. Mentally I feel like its mid February and my skin and mind are desperate for some sunlight! Yesterday was actually decent weather, I along with hoards of neighbors spent a good deal of time walking up and down the street to soak as much fair weather as possible. There are a few positives about the crummy weather. 1. I don't have to go work in the yard, 2. Trevor doesn't have to work in the yard 3. non-guilt about the exorbitant amount of time I spend reading, 4 watching movies snuggled with the honey in a cool living room.

Trevor finally got to meet my dad's extended family last weekend at the good old George Edward Patterson Reunion. Although 10 of my dad's 11 siblings were there, we were missing at least 60 cousins, their spouses and their children. But I suppose when your spread from California to Kingston Ontario Canada, it gets difficult to get everyone together at the same time.

Trevor started his summer academics and is handleing having to sit still for several hours at time well and I'm just working away. All-in-all, all is well. (you try use all that many times in one sentance!)

Car Story

Before I get to telling my story, I have to apologize for the lack of blogging, as I mentioned before, I broke my camera, then my laptop with all my pictures on it died. Trevor does have a camera, but I haven't taken the time to sit down and figure out how to get the pictures onto our computer. So blogs for the next bit will be picture less, or have limited pictures. Sorry.

Ever since Trevor and I moved to Logan we have had incredibly bad luck with our cars. we've had a few run-ins with the police, (we have definitely contributed our fair share to the sheriff's office, so they better not come asking for donations.) I slid off the road into a ditch one icy morning (first time in my life I've run off the road) as a result, we have two new tires! Trevor's car has a loose motor mount (huh?), we've had dead batteries, safety inspections and Utah's ridiculous registration fees just to name a few.

About a week ago Trev and I traveled to Twin Falls to visit my much neglected family and on our way back had a run in with some cast of tread in the middle of the freeway. Which messed up the bumper significantly. Trevor was able to bungee the plastic part of the underside of the bumper so it didn't drag(mind you it was 12:30 at night and literally freezing outside), and we made it home safe sin (spanish for without) driver side bumper. Well today, the rig we had in place, came un-rigged. I could hear the plastic scraping on the road so I pulled over, checked it out, saw that I couldn't fix it, called Trevor who was way far away and had no means of coming to my rescue. we deduced that it was just plastic, and would have to be replaced anyway, so other than being obnoxiously loud and somewhat annoying, no damage would be done, at leat none to the part of the car we wanted to keep. So I drove to my appointments for work, dragging my mangled bumper on the ground.

Everywhere I went people would stop, turn around and stare at my car that was making this awful scraping sound. They would see the problem and look at me like "! Lady, you're dragging your bumper, did you know?" to which I'd simply have to give a big smile and wave. After a few miles or so (OK, it was quite a ways) I decided I had to do something, I couldn't just keep drawing this attention to myself. So I pulled over and pulled out the duct tape. While I was lying on my back fastening pieces of tape to my mangled bumper the children of the home I was going to enter in a few minutes came out and proceeded to ask me what I was doing. I told him, my car was broken, and I was trying to fix it, to which he ran to his mom and yelled, "Mom her car is broken, but its ok, she has tape!"

If you are wondering, duct tape really does fix everything! White Trash...here I come.

My sister

Did you see my new button? I'd like to tell you about it and my sister.
My sister and her husband and son are looking for a baby. There are so many wonderful things I could say about Beck, Jer and Ethan that I literally don't know where to start. My sister is one of my heroes. She can do anything, including successfully beat cancer 3 times. She is a wonderful mom, full of fun, patience, creativity and she incredibly supportive of her boys. Ethan who loves music, can hum and name and composers of more classical songs than I can, and he's only 6. Jeremy is one of the most intelligent, naturally happy people I know, who is a great a pediatrician. Jeremy's sister in law is the talented cjane, she wrote a beautiful message about them, visit her blog here to read even more.

But most of all, please take a minute to check out Beck and Jer's family blog by clicking my new button on the right, and keep them in mind if you know of anyone who is considering adoption.

My economic plan

The times that we live in are no doubt challenging. As the economy moves forward in its current condition many of us struggle to make up the difference in our personal budgets and lifestyles. The government has come up with various plans to help or stimulate things. For example, last year’s stimulus check, $600 given to me to help me with my financial woes and to encourage a trip to the mall, which in turn would stimulate the economy. Brilliant. Did it go in savings? Did it go to the mall? I don’t know…but I do know that I have to claim it on my tax return this year, decreasing my rebate by the aforementioned $600.

Thank you for giving me money I did not ask for, want or even need without clearly explaining the terms. Be sure to read the fine print.

Another example the 2008 first time home buyer $7,500 credit. What an incentive to buy a home! $7,500 dollars to fix up the home, or even, if you wish pay of other debts, what ever you want, its your money! Seventy-five hundred dollars! Wahoo! *the 2008 first time home buyers credit should be considered as a interest free loan which will be paid back over a period of 15 years at $500 per year. Now, the reward for being brave and weathering the rocky times, buying a home, actively participating in the economy despite the difficulties; 7500 dollars of debt. Come on, lets take it for what it is, DEBT, interest free or not.

Here is my plan

Trevor, who works so hard to bridge the gap in our budget, because of what he does, we have a nice home, cars that work and a bright and promising future. No one, with any amount of money can top that. (Not to mention the 8 cows and two horses he brought into the marriage along with his amazingly upbeat and positive attitude.)

Mom and Dad, who did a fab job raising me, teaching me to work, to fulfill my obligations, to think, to study, to learn, to cook, clean, sew and garden, for encouraging me to get educated and helping me do it; and for also teaching me how to save, budget and spend wisely, among thousands of other things.

My sibs, who set a good example, are always willing to lend an ear, and offer good, impartial advice in any situation.

My in-laws, Wayne and Debbie who helped Trevor become the man he is, who welcomed me into their family with open arms, without question or prejudice, who are always supportive and willing to lend a hand.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and our inspired leaders for warning, cautioning and helping us prepare for these perilous times.

Thanks to the government for trying to bring me down, I mean help me during these economic woes by offering thousands of dollars of debt.

Despite your efforts, my plan is better than yours.

Do you talk in your sleep?

That is a question that is hard to know the answer to. After all, you only know if you talk in your sleep when someone has said you do, and then you have to question the honesty of the person telling you.

Trevor talks in his sleep. Only his sleep talking usually involves more than talking. If you don't believe me ask any one of his six other family members, they'll back me up on this. Some nights he just mumbles or gets out a few words, this I barely wake for anymore. At times he'll moan and kind of growl at something (a light back rub and a soothing sh sh sh, keeps that from exploding in to anything) but often times he'll sit up in bed or even get out of bed acting out some crazy dream.

For example:
On our honeymoon, Trevor sits on the side of the bed and sighs, I ask "Whats are you doing?"
T-"I have to go to work."
A-"No you don't"
T-"Uh, I think so"
A-"But babe, we're in Colorado"
T-"But they came and told me I need to"
Long Pause
T-"Well maybe not"
To which he laid back down and quickly fell back asleep

Or there was the time he jumped out of bed, and flipped on the light insisting we needed to get up...at 1 am.

But I think last night is my favorite.

It was probably around 4 am. I'm peacefully sleeping, and I hear "Oh Piss" and Trevor darts up to his knees.
Now you think after 6 months of this I'd get the idea by now that Trevor is asleep, but nope, I respond in a slight panic "What? What's the matter?"
To which Trevor replies, "slide behind me" Then, he stretches his hands into the air like he's reaching for something.
A- I'm confused, and laughing at Trevor reaching up for nothing and I say "What? Why?"
Trevor says, "everything is falling."
I roll my eyes and my body "no its not, its just a dream." A few minutes pass, Trevor is leaning forward and he says "Um...your on my foot" (somehow his foot ended up under my knee) I move my legs so he can lay back down. A few more minutes pass, Trevor hasn't stopped moving, so I ask him,"Are you ok?"
"I just can't believe that was all a dream"

Morning comes, he remembers...nothing, except that I was on his foot.

A conviction

Since I don't really remember, I haven't watched rated "R" movies. Of course I've seen some, there are even a few good ones out there, but generally I try to steer away from them. The Patterson family has a really good, old family friend who doesn't understand why I've made that choice, and we've had endless debates about why I don't but as I explained to him, that I chose not to do so, not only because prophet said I shouldn't, But because I don't want to, not because of what anyone said.

The other day, I broke my own conviction. I really really wanted to see The Changeling with Angelina Jolie. With a supportive husband by my side, who assured me he would not mention it to aforementioned family friend, we picked up the movie at the Wal-mart Red Box. I felt SO guilty, but I really wanted to see it. Even as we started the movie, I had a feeling of disbelief of what I was about to do... I really wanted to see it. (I must confess, Trevor offered to intervene on my behalf by saying, "Ash, if you are going to hate yourself for watching this, lets turn it off right now") but I persisted, I wanted to see it.

While the movie was really well done, lacked the general violence, gore and sexuality most "R" movies include, I remember why I don't watch rated "R" movies.

Lesson relearned

The Local Pests

Some homes are plagued with spiders, some with cochoroaches. My grandparents house often had balls of garder snakes ( say balls because they all coil together in a big tangle of the balls) But here is our biggest pest. Please excuse the poor quality of the video, I was looking with my eyes and not through the screen, so it get s a little off center sometimes. Sorry.

You can see a little of the landscape across the way, its just acres of river bottoms, its really beautiful when the snow is freshly flocking the trees. Thats about the only time I like all the snow we get here!

Home Sweet Home.

I finally have some pictures! I really am sorry it took so long, but I wanted to finish the drapes first. The living room was cold and boring without them. So here go the pictures.
I took this in November when we were looking, I'll get some winter ones on Saturday when I'm home during daylight!

I have a few before picutres, mostly empty rooms, but you'll get the idea.
The living room before *note the previously blogged "leopard skin carpet" and the gold pole lamp

The angle is a little different, but I think you can see the huge difference. Every time I walk in my door, I think "Oh I have such a cute house!"

Now the bed room...before


and after
I know, its not that different, the bed room needs some help. I think my furniture and the bed make a difference enough............ for now at least. Here is another shot from the door.


And now I have to show you my favorite thing in the kitchen! Its hard to get from the picture, so I'll explain. It is my spice cupboard, inside a cabinet door. I first discovered it when I tried to open the cabinet and opened the spice cupboard instead. The other knob opens the cabinet. Cool eh?

waiting so patiently

Oh, so many of you are waiting. Unfortunately I had a duh moment, and broke my camera! Trevor has an old one somewhere, so while I'm looking for it, please be patient.

I will give you a quick update. We bought an old farm house across from the river bottoms. It is in great need of decorate update. Once you opened the door, you would encounter the carpet, which my sister Kim nicknamed the leopard skin carpet. Which I snapped a picture of before the dreadful loss of the camera. The picture really doesn't capture the nastiness of that carpet. You had to see it and feel how disgusting it really was. While in good condition, I couldn't stand it. So, we took it out. The best decision of our lives. (which of course is and exagguration, because choosing to move to Logan, pretty good one, marrying Trevor, great one!)

So I actually enjoy being in my living room now.

As soon as I get the drapes finished, and get Trev's camera figured out, I'll post some before and after shots.

Be patient

So we've settled into our new home in Smithfield, UT. (Near Logan for those of you who don't know)

We don't have internet at home yet, its coming this weekend. So I'll make a good lengthy post later with lots of juicy details, which I know you are all just dying to hear.